I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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