if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
