i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
