it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
