Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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