fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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