Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
