I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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