No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
