It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
