nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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