So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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