i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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