I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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