So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
