My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
