Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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