I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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