So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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