We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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