It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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