the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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