Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
