arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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