i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize