The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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