i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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