Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
