Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
