Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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