girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
