return my video game
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
