I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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