If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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