You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
