the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
