Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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