would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
