At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
