the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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