his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
