Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
