yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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