I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
