I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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