I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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