Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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