Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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