I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
