Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
